She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize