I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
