I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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