im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
