Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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