And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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