The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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