New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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