Already got asked if we're dating
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
