Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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