how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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