you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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