Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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