I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You need Xanax blowdarts
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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