Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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