The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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