Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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