I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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