This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
