Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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