I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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