Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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