so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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