matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
