Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
