Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We need to rekindle our bromance
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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