if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
