I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
