Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
