I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
