maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize