omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize