CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
