just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
