You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
