you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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