It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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