I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
