Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
