question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
