His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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