I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
