I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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