sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize