Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize