hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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