I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize