Will you blow on my dice?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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