i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
