i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
