I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
why do cheetos always look like penises
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
