Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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