Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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