What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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