yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
