Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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