If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
