Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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