How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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