My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
