Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
