Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
