1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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