I feel like abortions should bother me more
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
