you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
